Saturday, July 19, 2008

I believe in God

So, why do I believe in God?  It's sometimes difficult to explain because it's all about feelings.  I've never seen God but I know He's there because I feel His love for me through so many ways.  
I believe in God because I've had so many answers to Prayer.  I have already written one blog with a few examples of ways my prayers have been answered, but there are infinite more and I will have to blog about them soon, too.  I believe in prayer!
 I feel His love in so many ways.  When I look into my children's  eyes, see a beautiful sunset, look into the sky, count my many blessings, when I sincerely pray to Him.  There have been hard times in my life when I have struggled to feel His love, but after sincerely pursuing it, I can always feel it again and it is the most precious thing to me.  It causes me to feel such great joy.  It makes me a better person.  It gives me so much hope!  
There have been 3 times in my life when I hit rock bottom.  You probably know the feeling: crying, feeling empty inside, lonely, wondering how you can go on, no motivation.  Well, there have been 3 times I can specifically remember going away from everyone, finding a spot to be alone and just sobbing and praying.  All three times (years apart from each other) my sorrow would end in the same way - after crying a lot and feeling sorry for myself, I look up to behold the most spectacular sunset I've ever seen.  And then I am washed over with God's love for me.  It is so amazing!  It is as if He knows how much I love sunsets (I used to drive up in the mountains in the evening just to watch the sunset), and He uses that as a tool to show love to me.  
There have been many other simple ways He has shown His love to me during hard times.
I'll share a few.
1 - One time when I was feeling very discouraged while serving a mission in Brazil.  My missionary companion and I were sitting on a bus in silence, and I was feeling quite sad for some reason that I can't remember now.  Then, all of the sudden a little Brazilian girl stood up on her seat, turned around and smiled right at me.  Somehow I knew that was God's way of saying, "I love you."  He knows how much I love children.
2- Another time when I was in college, I was having a really bad day (again, I can't remember why).  I went to McDonold's  hoping that maybe an ice cream sundae would make me feel better.  While I was standing in line a very old man came over to me and said, "You have the most beautiful smile".  Somehow I felt that was also coming from God.

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